If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.

A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt.

Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 

It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and 

what you're going to do.

After any salary increase, you will have less money at the end of the month 

than you did before. 

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will 

happen to you the rest of the day. 

When the partners talk about improving productivity, they are never talking

about themselves. 

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool 

about it.

There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when a 

partner asks for a ride home from the office. 

Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is 

supposed to be doing.

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, 

you will get out of it.

You are always doing something marginal when a partner drops by your desk.

People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.

If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number 

of pens that person is carrying.

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Following the rules will not get the job done.

Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.

When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by 

reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"

No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for 

everything that goes wrong. 

And lastly, 'responsible management' and "hands-on management' are 

both oxymorons